INDIANA LAW ANNOTATED
Vol.2, No. 15	April 27, 1992
CONTRACTS HUMOR WINNERS ANNOUNCED!
Intrepid IL's Glenda Alexander and Tom Fisher are the winners of the coveted Annual Boshkoff Humor Award for Contracts. ILA lacks the graphic capabilities to share Ms. Alexander's winning submission with the law school community; the cow is available for viewing, however, in Professor Boshkoff s office. As a special presentation of this final newsletter of the year, and in a journalistic coup of stunning proportions, ILA is pleased to be able to share Mr. Fisher's submission in its entirety :
What Jerry Brown and Bill Clinton Might Say if Sherwood v. Walker were a campaign issue (Ted Koppel moderates the Debate):
Koppel: WE begin our debate with the story of replevin for a cow, a cow called Rose, a cow once thought to be barren, but that is now proven fertile. I'm talking of course about the infamous Sherwood v. Walker case, a case that has enthralled law students with its poignant facts and ruthless logic. What's at stake may seem as shallow as the fate of Rose, or as profound as an emerging political consensus.
I take it from your campaign speeches, Governor Clinton, that the cow ought to go to Sherwood.  What about the calf?
Governor Clinton: Let me be clear Ted. I'm for change on this issue, just as I'm the candidate for change on every other issue. We need to do more for the American people, so I'm in favor of leaving the calf with Walker. We need to spread the wealth a little better, and besides.... Governor Brown: [interrupting] That's scandalous. Don't you see, Ted, this guy's got a scandal a week. First its Gennifer Flowers, Then he's dodging the draft, then his wife's law firm is getting kickbacks from a state vendor. Now this. He's splitting up cow families. Koppel: Please, Governor Brown, we'll get to you in a moment.
Governor Clinton: [incredulous] .....besides, Sherwood bargained only for the cow, not the calf.
Governor Brown:   You see, that's what's wrong with this whole process, we keep looking at it from the mainstream perspective. Why does it matter what he bargained for? We should be more interested in fairness to the cows, in preserving cow families. That's why I'm taking this campaign back to the American people with my grass-roots, grass-fed beef campaign.  We're exploiting these cows, barren and fertile, and I want to know when it's going to stop. Governor Clinton:  He can't even take a stand.  He's so busy hyperventilating about his grass roots theme, he doesn't even know who gets the cow! Koppel:   Well governor Brown?
Governor Brown: Ted, I'm in favor of fundamental restructuring of our beef producing habits. Of course I know who gets the cow and the calf: The American people. They've been waiting for their turn to be a part of the cattle buying business for too long. We're taking this cow thing back to the American people, back to the disembovined classes.
1

Koppel: Governor Clinton, you know, many people see your position as rather ambivalent, like you want to please everyone.   Aren't you afraid of contributing further to your "slick Willy" image?
Governor Clinton:   Let's look at the facts, Ted.   Sherwood bid on the cow, he should get nothing more. That's not slick, that's a meaty position. Governor Brown's position is a recipe for disaster.   How can we divide a cow and a calf among the American people?   What he doesn't tell you is that his plan includes distributing the by-products as well.
Koppel:  Governor Brown?
Governor Brown:   [A bit surprised] Hey, all the major slaughterhouse experts agree with me on this one.   You distribute the whole of both animals, by-products and all, and more people  eat.
Governor Clinton:  Except those that need nourishment the most.  They get hooves and ears.
My plan allows us to raise cow revenue more fairly.
Governor Brown: You want fair? How do you define fair, Governor Clinton? By this picture of a Black Angus in Pensive moooood? What are you trying to portray with this image? That we can just slaughter the cow and give it to the same beef-eating politicians as always?
I want to know, governor Clinton, why whenever a cow is involved you give it to those who already have cows. I want to know what kind of message you're sending to the American people.  I want to know, we all want to know, why you didn't inhale? Governor Clinton:  Chill Out Jerry.   You're from California.  Just Chill out.  At least I knew the stuff was in the same room!
That picture happens to demonstrate my commitment to dealing realistically with pensive cows.   We've got to figure out practical ways to relax these cows so that we'll have tender beef.  That's what I stand for, changing the ways we tenderize our beef. Governor Brown:  My plan is to bring that cow back to the American people.  That's why if you call 1-800-555-COWS you can help in this grass-fed revolution.
Koppel:  Gentlemen, we'll have to leave it there for now, but I'm certain that this debate will continue.
I'm Ted Koppel.  From all of us here at Nightline, good night

NEWS FROM THE FACULTY

Three books by Fred Aman will appear in the coming months. The first, ADMINISTRATIVE LAW IN A GLOBAL AGE, will appear next month from Cornell University Press. The second, a treatise on administrative law co-authored with Professor William T. Mayton, will be published in July. Finally, Administrative Law: Cases and Materials, will be published by Matthew-Bender.
Dan Conkle's op-ed piece, "Ordinary People Want Abortion Compromise," appeared in USA Today on April 21. Dan was also presented with the Leon Wallace Teaching Award last week. Congratulations! Jeff Stake will be presenting his lesson on rent-seeking (the dime game) to other property professors at the AALS Conference on Property in Spokane, Washington, this summer. His article, "Mandatory Planning for Divorce," just appeared at 45 Vanderbilt Law Rev. 397.

NEWS FROM LAW STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS 

International Law Association Announces Officers
The current officers of the International Law Association congratulate the officers-elect for 1992-1993. They are Kalpak Gude, President; Ken West, Vice-President; Ed Bielski, Treasurer; and Susan Lynch, Secretary. The Co-Editors of One World will be Susan Lynch and Ken West. The ILA sponsored a number of events this year, including noon-time talks by Professors Delbruck and Weirzbowski and by distinguished IU alumnus Milt Thompson, as well as the International Thanksgiving Pot Luck. The Newsletter (now known as One World) was published four times, with a fifth issue probably on the way. We look forward to an even better year next year. 

VITA Tax Program A Success
April 15 has come and gone, and none of the IU Law volunteer tax assistors were up until midnight on that night working on taxes. Twenty IU VITA members have finished the tax season with little loss of life or limb. We staffed two clinics in the Bloomington community, served 36 clients, had these clinics open a total of 112 hours on seven dates, and invested over 200 person-hours into the program. Additionally, we helped hand out food to the needy and discussed theology with Rev. Butler at Second Baptist, learned some "bear facts," and shot a television commercial at Walnut Woods. We don't have any statistics from the IMU location yet.
Although we're disappointed that we were not able to help more clients with their taxes, we're very excited that we did demonstrate that there is enough interest and dedication within the IU Law School to support a VITA program. We have laid the groundwork for a strong program in future years, which will only serve more and more citizens as the years progress. Next year, the VITA program will be coordinated by third-years Peggy Bass and Anthony Zirille, and second-year Marc Lane.
Special "thank you" to all volunteers for all your hard work and dedication!
Jim Oliver, 3L

NEWS FROM CAREER SERVICES

Anyone who has a permanent or summer position that has not filled out the Employment Form in our office please stop by and do so. Lisa Bingham is needing a research assistant to help her 10 to 15 hours a week. Stop by the office for more details.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

TO 1 AND 2LS: CALL FOR USHERS AT OUR GRADUATION.
Please see Dale if you'd be willing to serve as an usher at our graduation on May 9, 1992. The luncheon reception will be from 11:50 to 2:30, and our law school ceremony will be from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m.
Exam Info:
Any student typing an exam must notify Dale, rm. 024, or Jeanne, Rm. 022, before the exam period starts.

CALENDAR
Monday, April 27
... .Morning
Securities Reg. II, Rm. 125
Environmental Policy, Rm. 124
...Afternoon
International Business Transactions, Rm. 125
Tuesday, April 28
...Morning
Sales, Rms. 122, 124, 125
Federal Jurisdiction, Rm. 121
...Afternoon
Contracts, Boshkoff, Rms. 124, 125
Contracts, Markell, Rms. 120, 122
Contracts, Conrad, Rm. 121
Wednesday, April 29
...Morning
Jurisprudence, Rm. 124
Deferred Compensation, Rm. 125
...Afternoon
Law and Medicine, Rms. 124 and 125
...Review Session, Civil Procedure, Robel, Noon, Moot Court Room
Thursday, April 30
...Morning
Employment Law, Rm. 121
Family Law, Rms. 124, 125
...Afternoon
Regulated Industries: Banking Law, Rm. 125
Friday, May 1
...Morning
Civil Procedure, Shreve, Rms. 124, 125 (exam starts at 8:00 a.m.)
Civil Procedure, Robel, Rm.s 120, 122
Civil Procedure, Conkle, Rm. 121
...Afternoon
Real Estate Finance, Rm. 124. 125
Evidence, Rms. 121, 122
Saturday, May 2
...Morning
Law and Sports, Rm. 125
Legal Thought, Rm. 124
...Afternoon
Wills and Trusts, Rms. 120, 121
Legal Profession, Rms. 124, 125

Monday, May 4
...Morning
Labor Arbitration, Rm. 125
...Afternoon
Secured Transactions, Rms. 124, 125
Intro. to Income Tax, Rms. 120, 121
Law & Economics, Rm. 122
Tuesday, May 5
...Morning
Products Liability, Rm. 125
...Afternoon
Constitutional Law: Baude, Rms. 121, 122; Bradley, Rms. 120, 124, 125
Wednesday, May 6
...Morning
Labor Law I, Rms. 121, 122
Landlord Tenant, Rm. 125
...Afternoon
Criminal Process I: Schornhorst Rms. 121, 122; Hoffmann Rm. 124
American Legal History, Rm. 120
Thursday, May 7
...Morning
Women and the Law, Rm. 124
Corporations, Rms. 120, 121, 122
...Afternoon
Corporate Tax, Rm. 125
Consumer Bankruptcy, Rms. 121, 122
Friday, May 8
...Afternoon
Property
Gellis, Rms. 120, 124, 125
Stake, Rms. 121, 122
...Graduation Party, Library, Evening
Graduation, May 9
...Commencement Exercises, 10:00 a.m., Memorial Stadium
...Recognition Ceremony, 3:00 p.m., I.U. Auditorium